Comments: Roadtrekking: Part 2/12

Well, there I thought ML and I were in sync and we could manage to post part two without any problems. It was easier to write the story than to post it. She's so excited by all the positive comments that she has decided to come out of hiding.

She wants to hear positive comments and helpful criticism.

gerry

Hi,
This was so good.
This investigation is going to be very difficult.
They are dangerous together. They are going to need a lot of cold showers.
Clark is so innocent thats sweet.

More soon, please.

MAF

Very good gerry & ML. I hate those underwire bras anyway.

Artemis

Underwire? Wazzat?

Very interesting section. Sounds like it's been a few years since Clark got the "birds and the bees" speech, and it looks like he's going to need a refresher. Maybe Lois should give it, since she knows all too well! I just hope they have enough cold water, and not so much tepid water that's at a lot of camping places. Can't wait to see what happens next! <postpostpostpostpostpostpostnagnagnagnagnag>

wow! I love the way Lois keeps wanting to touch Clark but one of the reasons that she doesn't is that she thinks Clark doesn't feel the same way, lol! and, of course, I love the way Clark is so innocent

I wouldn't do that if I were you Clark!

very funny, please write lots more soon, afterall, with two of you writing this I'm sure you could post more often, like, everyday? that way you'd have a day to work on it, you don't need to bother about anything other than the fic, except eating so you can type faster!

Helen
who is sorry that she's been nagging again but she wants something to distract her from all the work she should have done!

I thought long and hard about what, if anything, to say. But I know you guys really want honest feedback, so here goes.

This is a great premise, very well written, and the plot is progressing nicely. I'm a little worried about why bikers are kidnapping teenagers and whether there will be anything left of them to be rescued. I'm glad to see Lois and Clark working together, and the sexual tension was drawn very nicely.

The only problem I have, really, is that I don't recognize these people. Clark is obnoxious -- calling Lois "June" once or twice would be in character; keeping it up for hours -- especially after she's made it clear she dislikes it -- is just boorish. And if he can't figure out why he wants to look at and touch her chest, or why his jeans are suddenly so tight ... well, that's beyond innocent and way into "moronic." He thinks he has the flu??? That's so dumb that it's very hard to see why he's been able to hold down his job. If he'd spent some time reflecting that he would know what this meant for an Earth man but then convince himself that it couldn't possibly apply to him, that would improve the situation; to have the possibility never even occur to him just boggles me.

It's nice to see Lois being so aware of Clark's obvious physical traits (though I still don't know why she sees them in Clark but not in Superman), but when I consider his other "qualities" (see above), I can't think very highly of her judgement.

So I'm unhappy to say that I'm pretty unhappy with this story so far.

Sorry.

PJ

ROTFLOL, this is funny. I am willing to accept the different characterizations of L&C, but I do admit to being a bit incredulous about Clark's ignorance of the "birds and bees". I was pretty naive, but even I, by college age at least, knew why boys ah, um, put their hands in their pants pockets, at certain times.
Still looking forward to the next segment!

<img src="graemlins/laugh.gif" border="0" alt="[Laugh]" /> aww bless Clark he's so funny!
This was so perfectly timed,



I was very amused there, this is coming on great I cant wait for the next part. I wonder when Clark's gonna realise that its actually ATTRACTION he's feeling not some illness!

Antonia

I roared with laughter all the way through this! Poor Clark, afraid that he has the flu! Yes, it's ridiculously naive, but it's farcical, and I love farce. I notice that Lois also is worried that Clark has the flu. Maybe they can put their heads together and discover the cure for it.

I love the build-up of sexual tension and I'm really hoping that there's going to be more B-plot than A-plot. Love the story so far!

And I thought it was funny when Clark started calling Lois "June" in reference to the Cleavers.

Shadowfax

We're glad that you're enjoying what we've written so far...and that you're laughing where we laughed when we wrote it. Yes, those underwire bras are nice until the wire pokes through. And yes, we'll be taking lots of showers (or their equivalents). Remember, this is pg-13.

Pam, in writing Roadtrekking, ML and I wanted to have some fun. The comments on the boards at the time we started writing were getting pretty serious, as were quite a few of the extremely well-written stories. We wanted to get back to some of the humour that we saw in the show. We threw around some ideas that we liked and I do admit that we got silly. We wanted a different Lois and Clark. So we “what iffed”. What if Lois was infatuated with Clark? Does she have to have a crush on Superman? What if Clark doesn’t realize that he’s interested in her in a romantic way? How could that be? Clark is always in love with Lois? Well, perhaps we could make it that he doesn’t realize that he’s got feelings for her because it’s all so new for him...He’s Kryptonian. Maybe he’s just a late bloomer. And we were off. It didn’t take us long to come up with the RV. It was parked somewhere close by and we couldn’t help ourselves.

We did say that it was an elseworld story and we were writing for the fun of it. Sometimes, when you write about a character who can defy gravity, you take a bit of license and defy reality. We do realize that a 26 year old man must have a clue about the birds and the bees and the farm animals, but this Clark is very different. )But it's so much funnier when he doesn't know what's happening to him. His hormones, because of the earth's sun, did not develop as the rest of his body did.

This fic is meant to be a fun romp. We’re just trying to make people laugh.

gerry

Let me make it very clear, in case there was any doubt, that I'm only expressing my opinion, here, and I leave it entirely up to the authors what, if anything, to do about it Looks like I misjudged your story intent, so never mind me



Oh, I love "what if" questions. It's one of my very favorite questions It's just that my *other* favorite question is "why" But I can see that I'm not supposed to analyze this too deeply, which is fine.

Enjoy the story, everyone

PJ

While I am enjoying this story (it's wonderfully creative, BTW), I too am a bit put off by Clark's obnoxious behaviour. True, this is an elseworlds story, so I'm willing to see how this change effects Lois and Clark's relationship.

I was totally dumbfounded by his inability to recognize that he was attracted to Lois in *that* way. In the first section, Clark thinks about how he knows how he is supposed to feel around women. I'm just really suprised he doesn't recognize it's happening to him now.

One thing that tripped me up in this section....

In the first section, Lois thinks/feels that Clark stole Superman from her. She was really mad about it. And yet in this section she says:



That threw me a bit since she accuses him of doing that very thing with Superman.

It is an entertaining read, and I'm looking forward to how you manage these different personalities you have created.

This is very entertaining, I agree: I was grinning from time to time while reading this part, and especially in envisaging Lois removing her bra - oh, a removal strategy I know very well! (though personally I like underwires ).

But I agree with Pam and Jeff: I blinked - in fact, more than blinked - at Clark's failure to realise why he was all steamed up in Lois's presence. At first I didn't even realise that he wasn't supposed to be realising it; it seemed so obvious to me that he would recognise the symptoms of attraction and then try to work out why he was feeling it now when he'd never felt it at any point so far in his life. It did take me several paras to figure out that he simply had no idea why he was reacting like that.

And... I just can't buy it. Yes, the story is very entertaining and I can see lots of fascinating possibilities ahead, but if I can't buy one of the base premises (that Clark has no idea why he is reacting like that around Lois), I'm going to find it hard to read and accept what happens next. But then, that's just my opinion, and you guys have lots of other people who are enjoying it and can accept it for what it is, so you don't necessarily need to worry about me.

As for Clark's behaviour, well, apart from the fact that the June Cleaver reference doesn't have the same resonance with me because I only know it by 'translation', in effect, because someone told me a while ago who June Cleaver was, I found his repetitive calling Lois 'June' mildly irritating in the sense that I thought we'd got the joke already so there wasn't really any need to repeat it so many times. Do I think it made him obnoxious? I really don't know, and I'd need to re-read the instalment to see what I think.

Anyway, I suppose what I'm saying here is that there's lots in this story that I love and am finding amusing, but there are a couple of aspects which are jarring with me. I'll need to read on to find out whether these are relatively minor aspects which I can ignore in the context of the overall story, or whether they're sufficiently major that they'd detract from my enjoyment of it.


Wendy

Hi, Gerry and ML! I've been reading the comments with interest, mostly because I've been getting a huge charge out of this story! Of course Clark should realize why he feels hot and bothered around Lois - the fact that he is so clueless is hilarious!! Yeah, maybe he SHOULD mention it to his parents the next time he talks to them.

I personally found the whole June/Billy Ray (and whatever else she called Clark) name calling funny. Yes, she did ask him to stop, but she's giving it right back. And if Clark is naive to the point that he doesn't realize why his pants are getting tight (oy), then he may still be going through the adolescent male stage of being annoying because he is enjoying Lois's reaction to it. Or he just likes annoying her! Or both. But I'm sure getting a kick out of it!

Why *is* it that so many men are fascinated/mesmerized by the whole "take off your bra and pull it out of your sleeve without disturbing your t-shirt" trick? [that sounded like something Maxwell Smart would say!!]? Can any woman on this list NOT do that?? If so, we can arrange lessons. Very funny part, especially when Clark kept telling her to stop squirming and she said "I'm not" as she tried in vain to find a more comfortable position away from the poking wire.

The constant sparring between Lois and Clark is different than what we're used to, but it's interesting. I think you've got the banter down well and the dialogue, and the whole story is very well written, and a lot of fun! I'm curious to see what will happen next, and of course I'm assuming the cigar-rolling man is Lex??

How about posting part 3 now, okay?? Please??

Vicki

I'll be brave and try to answer this one. Bear with me, I will probably make myself look like a total smuck and will quite possibly embarrass myself....



The fascinating/mesmerizing part of the whole thing is not that it is physically possible. If one takes the time to think about it logically, then it is obviously possible to perform this act.

No, men rarely think logically when it comes to watching women remove clothing. There is always that slim possibility that maybe, just maybe the guy might get to see more than they were supposed to. Plus the fact that there is now one less layer of clothing between him and you.

Jeff:

See, this is exactly why we women have perfected this until it is almost an art form! (just for the record, I can do it too, so ner )
Helen
edit: I've just re-read this and would like to clarify that I meant we have perfected it so there is no chance that anyone will see anything that they're not supposed to. I didn't mean anything else

Jeff wrote:


I admire your candor, Jeff.

I just wrote the longest post ever and because I put too many of those little happy/confused faces in, I was told to go back and now I've lost it all. Very sad face.

I've been reading your comments over the last few days and they've left ML and me in a bit of a quandry. Do we give away what we had planned to reveal slowly throughout the story in order to answer your questions or do we sit back and smile that we've got the answers and we won't tell? It's a problem when some of you (Vicky) hit the nail on the head while others (Pam, Wendy, Jeff) want some answers sooner.

That's the problem when we post stories on the boards in installments. We want your reactions so that we can fix some of the problems, but the reader misses some of the natural flow of the story. All questions can't be answered in the beginning. We need to leave some questions for you, our readers. Anticipation! Suspense! (Unfortunately, we may lose readers because of this.)

Just to let you know, the story is completed although we do go back and make changes.

Jeff, thanks for your explanation of why men are fascinated by the taking-off-bra-undershirt move. You validated what we were saying.

Some of you are unhappy with June and Billy Ray, as you should be. There is a reason...bear with us. Well, maybe we could cut a few out...

Wendy, I'm learning a lot on these boards about the differences in American, Canadian, and British pop culture. When Jude and Marilyn read our story, each questioned what a j-cloth was. Carol Malo had no problem with the concept. Well, then, she's Canadian, eh? What always stood out for me though, was the amount of pop cultural references made on the TV show. Of course, now that I want to throw an example out, my mind has gone blank.

Thanks for laughing with us and we do appreciate your candid comments.

gerry

I can't speak for Wendy and Jeff, but personally I don't need answers right now. I just want to know that answers are forthcoming -- knowing that, I'm willing to wait to see what they are. I don't mind authors keeping secrets (it's part of a good story, really), it's just the suspicion that the author hasn't thought something through that annoys me. Glad to hear that's not the case in this story

PJ

I think I can solve your quandry. Post the whole thing now. That way we'll get the flow of things *and* get our answers.

Seriously, questions and quirks are fine. We just want to make sure you are aware of these things. We question because we care!

Pam and Jeff, thanks for your replies. I think what you're telling us is that if we can say to ourselves, "We've answered that further on," then we are on the right track. If we haven't we should do some more thinking.

I should know better. As a teacher, how many times have I told my students that they are supposed to be questioning what they read and predicting what will happen. (I shrug my shoulders in disbelief).

Jeff the reason that we're not in a hurry to post everything is that we have a second dilemma. The story started moving in the nfic direction and we're trying to clean it up, but we're not sure where the line is for the fanfic list. And we don't want to step on anyone's toes. (This is the one issue that ML and I don't totally agree on.) Unfortunately, we're getting mixed messages about what is appropriate or not from our beta-readers. So,we're really confused . We're going to do this slowly, if you don't mind.

gerry

gerry, I have an answer from my POV. Post as you planned. I can wait. I thought you explained pretty well that Clark had never even felt a twitch of interest (literally) in a woman and couldn't understand what the fuss was about or what Linda King wanted. Intellectually, he knew, but it had never happened to him. Which, in this hormone driven world of ours, makes this *really* and elseworld story.
I think Lois keeps calling him "Billy Ray" because she dislikes the country music he brought along and to zing him back for the "June". This Lois can't cook either, which is consistent with our universe. Teasing like this can go on for *weeks*. I know from personal experience. It's the equivalent of what used to be called "dipping a girls pigtails in the inkwell". Since girls don't have pigtails anymore, nor do we have inkwells in school desks, teasing takes on a different form. Clark may not have been interested in teasing anyone before either.
Keep on Truckin'

Artemis
-fully qualified in the remove the bra from under the T-shirt maneuver It *still* mesermizes Hubby. BTW he calls the resulting view "seeing the artesians".

Wow! I go out of town for a day and another debate breaks out (do you think it was something I said? ) But it looks as if you've basically got it solved without me (Maybe I should go away more often)

Vicki and Artemis, I am in awe (Of course, I'm not saying what I'm in awe of )

Pam, Jeff and Wendy, as Gerry said, I think we deal with most of your concerns, just give us a little time. Pam, I think your concern regarding Clark not falling for Lois immediately might even get straightened out by the end

As Gerry said, we are working hard to try to give you a pg-13 version of this story. Although Gerry and I sometimes disagree about where the line actually is, we both agree that we don't want to step on any toes regarding this issue.

What we want most of all is to get you all laughing.

ML

Hi ML and Gerry, and thanks for your responses. Like Pam, I'm happy to hear that the issues I have a little trouble with will be addressed later.

But another thing which occurred to me is that some of my reaction to this, at least, has to do with the fact that humour is very subjective - and I'm well aware that I'm frequently in the minority where what makes me laugh is concerned. In the UK and Ireland, for example, Fawlty Towers is considered a comedy classic, and Absolutely Fabulous is considered hysterical. I can't watch more than ten seconds of either without becoming so irritated that I want to throw something at the TV. And I know that FoLCs generally consider the under-the-table scene in AKA Superman one of the funniest moments in the series: it leaves me cold and faintly embarrassed.

So I have a weird sense of humour, that's all. <img src="graemlins/laugh.gif" border="0" alt="[Laugh]" /> I do find some things funny, and the image of Lois removing her bra in the back of the RV did make me laugh. Clark thinking he had the flu when he was really turned on... didn't. However, plenty of people did find that funny, and that's clearly a signal that the story is working for them - and they outnumber those of us who are sitting up and saying 'huh?'.

Just one thought: I think I would have accepted Clark's misunderstanding of what was going on if this was a Mork and Mindy situation: ie if he was newly arrived from Krypton and hadn't a clue about Earth customs and relationships. I do find that apparent ignorance harder to accept in a guy who grew up in the US, even if it was in Kansas. But again, I'm probably taking you more seriously than you intend.

Oh, and finally, in relation to pop culture references in the series: yes, Gerry, many of them, if not most, went right over my head. But in a TV programme they're not quite so important; I blink, puzzled, at one line and then ignore it because the dialogue has moved on. Unfamiliar references are more apparent in a story because I can read at my own pace and not the pace at which the action is unfolding on screen. References to sport, the plays on existing US TV programmes etc usually passed me by - it's only very recently that I've figured out that Top Copy was clearly a play on a news magazine programme called Hard Copy (I assume! ) - though I did realise that LNN is CNN and the NIA is the CIA. <g>


Wendy

So when do we get to see Part 3???

I'm really enjoying the comments for this story!! I , of course, have to chime in and say go ahead and post. Please!! It's fine that you know things that we don't yet (if fact, if you didn't, I'd be worried!).

Of course, now I have to go back and see what I wrote that ML is in awe of , and I agree with you Marilyn - I think it's great that you were so candid, Jeff! While it's fun to read what women imagine that men think, it's even more fun to hear it from an actual man. I'm not sure that came out right, but you know where I was going with that, I think.

I hope that part 3 will show up really soon, and that the decision of where to draw the nfic line isn't holding things up.

I'm glad that we'll get explanations for the questions everyone has, but in the meantime, I'm enjoying the ride (oops, no pun intended).

Vicki (who agrees with Wendy that humor is extremely subjective, and also says hurry up and post! And where's the next part of Carbon Copy??)