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#177804 - 05/28/02 12:12 AM Comments: Roadtrekking: Part 2/12
gerry Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 04/12/01
Posts: 551
Loc: Canada
Well, there I thought ML and I were in sync and we could manage to post part two without any problems. blush It was easier to write the story than to post it. biggrin She's so excited by all the positive comments that she has decided to come out of hiding. boogie

She wants to hear positive comments and helpful criticism. dizzy

gerry

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#177805 - 05/28/02 01:29 AM Re: Comments: Roadtrekking: Part 2/12
mariadferdez. Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 07/21/01
Posts: 2492
Loc: Puerto Rico
Hi,
This was so good.
This investigation is going to be very difficult.
They are dangerous together. They are going to need a lot of cold showers.
Clark is so innocent thats sweet.

More soon, please.

MAF biggrin
_________________________
Maria D. Ferdez.

"Life Support, Coma, Sleeping and Napping" MAF
http://www.zoomway.net/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=12;t=001076

"Decease Stories Final List" MAF
http://www.zoomway.net/cgi-bin/boards/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=12&t=001022

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#177806 - 05/28/02 12:16 PM Re: Comments: Roadtrekking: Part 2/12
Artemis Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 04/12/01
Posts: 3482
Loc: California outback
Very good gerry & ML. I hate those underwire bras anyway.
biggrin
Artemis
_________________________
"You think a mild mannered reporter moonlights as a superhero?" Lois (incredulously) to Clark in Chi of Steel, written by the late Hilary Bader.

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#177807 - 05/28/02 12:44 PM Re: Comments: Roadtrekking: Part 2/12
Karen Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 08/16/01
Posts: 324
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Underwire? Wazzat? wink

Very interesting section. Sounds like it's been a few years since Clark got the "birds and the bees" speech, and it looks like he's going to need a refresher. Maybe Lois should give it, since she knows all too well! biggrin I just hope they have enough cold water, and not so much tepid water that's at a lot of camping places. Can't wait to see what happens next! <postpostpostpostpostpostpostnagnagnagnagnag>
_________________________
Why not have your cake and eat it too -- it's cake, what else are you going to do with it?

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#177808 - 05/28/02 03:00 PM Re: Comments: Roadtrekking: Part 2/12
Helen :) Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 10/07/01
Posts: 779
Loc: UK
wow! I love the way Lois keeps wanting to touch Clark but one of the reasons that she doesn't is that she thinks Clark doesn't feel the same way, lol! and, of course, I love the way Clark is so innocent goofy
Quote:
He'd have to remember to mention this to his parents when he got a chance.

I wouldn't do that if I were you Clark!

very funny, please write lots more soon, afterall, with two of you writing this I'm sure you could post more often, like, everyday? that way you'd have a day to work on it, you don't need to bother about anything other than the fic, except eating so you can type faster!

Helen
who is sorry that she's been nagging again but she wants something to distract her from all the work she should have done!
_________________________
There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't.

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#177809 - 05/28/02 03:20 PM Re: Comments: Roadtrekking: Part 2/12
ChiefPam Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 04/14/01
Posts: 1966
Loc: North Carolina, USA
I thought long and hard about what, if anything, to say. But I know you guys really want honest feedback, so here goes.

This is a great premise, very well written, and the plot is progressing nicely. I'm a little worried about why bikers are kidnapping teenagers and whether there will be anything left of them to be rescued. I'm glad to see Lois and Clark working together, and the sexual tension was drawn very nicely.

The only problem I have, really, is that I don't recognize these people. Clark is obnoxious -- calling Lois "June" once or twice would be in character; keeping it up for hours -- especially after she's made it clear she dislikes it -- is just boorish. And if he can't figure out why he wants to look at and touch her chest, or why his jeans are suddenly so tight ... well, that's beyond innocent and way into "moronic." He thinks he has the flu??? That's so dumb that it's very hard to see why he's been able to hold down his job. If he'd spent some time reflecting that he would know what this meant for an Earth man but then convince himself that it couldn't possibly apply to him, that would improve the situation; to have the possibility never even occur to him just boggles me. dizzy

It's nice to see Lois being so aware of Clark's obvious physical traits (though I still don't know why she sees them in Clark but not in Superman), but when I consider his other "qualities" (see above), I can't think very highly of her judgement.

So I'm unhappy to say that I'm pretty unhappy with this story so far. frown

Sorry.

PJ
_________________________
...obsessing over Lois & Clark since 1995...

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#177810 - 05/28/02 03:57 PM Re: Comments: Roadtrekking: Part 2/12
Kate Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 04/12/01
Posts: 67
Loc: Maryland
ROTFLOL, this is funny. I am willing to accept the different characterizations of L&C, but I do admit to being a bit incredulous about Clark's ignorance of the "birds and bees". I was pretty naive, but even I, by college age at least, knew why boys ah, um, put their hands in their pants pockets, at certain times.
Still looking forward to the next segment!
_________________________
Kate
the Maryland one

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#177811 - 05/28/02 04:05 PM Re: Comments: Roadtrekking: Part 2/12
i lv L&C Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 01/10/02
Posts: 453
Loc: England
<img src="graemlins/laugh.gif" border="0" alt="[Laugh]" /> aww bless Clark he's so funny!
This was so perfectly timed,

Quote:
&#8220;Dammit,&#8221; she muttered again. She hated it when the underwire of her bra cut through the material and began poking her in the arm. And this was a new bra, too.


I was very amused there, this is coming on great I cant wait for the next part. I wonder when Clark's gonna realise that its actually ATTRACTION he's feeling not some illness!

Antonia

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#177812 - 05/29/02 01:41 AM Re: Comments: Roadtrekking: Part 2/12
shadowfax Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 02/16/02
Posts: 620
Loc: Metropolis
I roared with laughter all the way through this! Poor Clark, afraid that he has the flu! dizzy Yes, it's ridiculously naive, but it's farcical, and I love farce. smile I notice that Lois also is worried that Clark has the flu. Maybe they can put their heads together and discover the cure for it. biggrin

I love the build-up of sexual tension and I'm really hoping that there's going to be more B-plot than A-plot. Love the story so far!

And I thought it was funny when Clark started calling Lois "June" in reference to the Cleavers. goofy

Shadowfax
_________________________
Science: (n.) The attempt by subroutines in an operating system to deduce the source code, and write the instruction manual.

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#177813 - 05/29/02 01:47 AM Re: Comments: Roadtrekking: Part 2/12
gerry Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 04/12/01
Posts: 551
Loc: Canada
We're glad that you're enjoying what we've written so far...and that you're laughing where we laughed when we wrote it. Yes, those underwire bras are nice until the wire pokes through. And yes, we'll be taking lots of showers (or their equivalents). Remember, this is pg-13.

Pam, in writing Roadtrekking, ML and I wanted to have some fun. The comments on the boards at the time we started writing were getting pretty serious, as were quite a few of the extremely well-written stories. We wanted to get back to some of the humour that we saw in the show. We threw around some ideas that we liked and I do admit that we got silly. We wanted a different Lois and Clark. So we “what iffed”. What if Lois was infatuated with Clark? Does she have to have a crush on Superman? What if Clark doesn’t realize that he’s interested in her in a romantic way? How could that be? Clark is always in love with Lois? Well, perhaps we could make it that he doesn’t realize that he’s got feelings for her because it’s all so new for him...He’s Kryptonian. Maybe he’s just a late bloomer. And we were off. It didn’t take us long to come up with the RV. It was parked somewhere close by and we couldn’t help ourselves.

We did say that it was an elseworld story and we were writing for the fun of it. Sometimes, when you write about a character who can defy gravity, you take a bit of license and defy reality. We do realize that a 26 year old man must have a clue about the birds and the bees and the farm animals, but this Clark is very different. )But it's so much funnier when he doesn't know what's happening to him. His hormones, because of the earth's sun, did not develop as the rest of his body did.

This fic is meant to be a fun romp. We’re just trying to make people laugh.

gerry
smile

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