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#224037 - 02/06/10 05:28 AM FDK: The Man Who Would Be King - Part 2
Darth Michael Lane and Kent Registered: 11/16/07 Posts: 192	Well? All comments appreciated Preview Quote: Clark’s head was spinning. Zara was offering him a ticket home. Back to his family. Back to Lois. And all he had to do was consign an entire world to a life under the iron fist of a brutal megalomaniac. ********** Nor stepped closer to the window and focused an imaginary spot in the center of the vortex. “Kal-El,” he growled. “Your father may have hidden you among the stars, but now I am coming for you, and you will come to regret the day that he sent you away.” Thanks! Michael
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#224113 - 02/13/10 06:22 PM Re: FDK: The Man Who Would Be King - Part 2 [Re: Darth Michael]
sheilah Lane and Kent Registered: 04/12/01 Posts: 1593 Loc: Colorado	Hi, Michael, I've been off-line again, so I apologize for being so late with FDK. A good section, even if it didn't really advance any plot other than the one with the Churches. I liked the choice of "gray pap" for the Kryptonian nutrient. It seemed very in character with their dislike of emotion and sensation. You really nailed Mindy's voice--her language and intonation, as well as her callous pursuit of whatever she wanted. That last paragraph between Martha and Jonathan was perfect, too. Looking forward to the next part! _________________________ Sheila Harper Hopeless fan of a timeless love story http://www.sheilaharper.com/
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#224129 - 02/14/10 01:22 PM Re: FDK: The Man Who Would Be King - Part 2 [Re: sheilah]
Darth Michael Lane and Kent Registered: 11/16/07 Posts: 192	Hi Sheila! Thanks! It's so great to see you back. Of course, now I have to apologize for not having the next part up yet. Have hit a bit of a writer's block with my Lois scenes for the next part. Hope to get it to my BRs tomorrow, though after having made a breakthrough tonight Quote: A good section, even if it didn't really advance any plot other than the one with the Churches. I hope it's not too slow. Right now I'm still in the setup-part, working myself to the First Plot Point. Btw, I don't think I ever said thanks for the link to storyfix you posted in the other boards NANO thread Quote: I liked the choice of "gray pap" for the Kryptonian nutrient. It seemed very in character with their dislike of emotion and sensation. Thanks! So glad it worked. yay about Mindy. She's fun to write. Quote: That last paragraph between Martha and Jonathan was perfect, too. wew Thanks. M&J are the hardest to get right. Much harder than Mindy Michael
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