New Page 1

Lois and Clark Message Board
a triangle built for two     

Page 7 of 8 < 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 >
Topic Options
#226577 - 08/25/10 01:16 PM Re: Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher Theory [Re: ArtLucie]
nordhoffms Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 220
If I was Teri, I would take a page out of Dean's book and never have married Jon in the first place let alone the second husband. Especially, if I didn't love the person and knew that the relationship was bad to begin with.

I am done with the marriage discussion. Everyone has a right to their own opinion and I don't want put my beliefs on anyone else. I was instilled with strong morals and values from my Grandparents and Parents especially in the value of marriage.


Edited by nordhoffms (08/25/10 01:23 PM)

Top
#226578 - 08/25/10 01:31 PM Re: Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher Theory [Re: nordhoffms]
ArtLucie Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 11/04/09
Posts: 379
Loc: Czech Republic
Okay fair enough. Lets stop this smile But you've got the point, in the first place she shouldn't got married with Jon, we agree on this one.


By the way whoever talked about 'that' Oprah show, I have never seen it and I guess I never will. Or anybody can get it?
_________________________
Avatar by Samantha.Majka


Top
#226579 - 08/25/10 01:34 PM Re: Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher Theory [Re: nordhoffms]
Helena_ Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 07/20/06
Posts: 571
Loc: Sweden
I agree that if Teri knew when she married Jon that she didn't love him then she should have never gone through with it. There is no reason to marry someone that you don't think you will be happy with. If that is what Teri did then I think she was probably just hoping for something to change, that maybe Jon would change...

However, there are a lot of people who are happily married for years but then for one reason or another they outgrow each other and stop loving each other. My parents got divorced when I was two years old, and I could not be happier about it. I've had such a happy childhood with two families who both loved me very much. Also, I got an extra Dad because of it smile
My poor best friend had to go through her childhood with a million fights at home and parents who were bitter, tired and unhappy. I'd choose my childhood any day, and I'm sure so would my friend. Just my two cents.
_________________________
Lois: "And it just got more complicated when you realized you loved me."
Clark: "Which was about two minutes after I met you."
Lois: "Don't try and score points."
Clark: "Sorry."
- We Have A Lot To Talk About

Top
#226580 - 08/25/10 03:55 PM Re: Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher Theory [Re: Helena_]
Bobert Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 07/26/03
Posts: 71
Loc: New Jersey
Originally Posted By: nordhoffms
I disagree with your comment that marriage is not meant to last forever. If you haven't heard the marriage vows lately, there is a part in there that says TILL DEATH DO US PART. Marriage is a serious convenant that two people enter into willingly to spend their lives together forever. If a person is not willing to give that type of commitment, then they should not bother tying the knot in the first place. The high level of divorce rate shows how immaturely people treat marriage now days.


I completely agree with you which is why I said ďWhile marriage is a scared bond that is often taken very lightly and thrown away easily at the first sign of troubleÖĒ I just think that youíre misinterpreting what Iím saying and that may be due to my choice of wording, so please let me elaborate. Marriage to me is a vow between two people that is made within their souls. These two people agree to be so heavily in love and choose to spend the rest of their lives together because thatís what brings them happiness and peace. But what about the people that truly donít believe that but still end up getting married? Are all of them terrible people? I donít think so and while I donít agree with them getting married if they arenít completely in love, I understand it. There are many factors that play into why people make certain decisions and many times these people donít fully comprehend the consequences of their actions. Teri is a classic case of insecurity. She has admitted it several times that she was a rather insecure person, especially during the 90ís. It has a lot to do with being an outcast during her childhood years but I donít really want to get into all of that. All I know is that she felt really insecure and having a relationship with Jon, though not of love, was a sense of stability. She wanted to cement that stability and decided to get married to Jon. Even though she may have known that Jon never made her feel loved, she would push those feelings down because being in a relationship with Jon offered her some security in her life. Once again, I donít agree with the fact that Teri got married to Jon. I do think that she should have ended it at the relationship stages and chose Dean, but I understand why she didn't. When youíre feeling insecure, any form of stability or security you receive, youíll immediately lash onto. Itís quite common. Furthermore, Iím sure if you ask her today does she regret her decision, itíll be followed with an immediate yes. Last time Iím saying this, but while I donít condone Teriís actions, I understand where there coming from.

Originally Posted By: nordhoffms
If a person knows that a relationship is bad and then marries that someone even though they don't love them, then that should be a big stop sign or avoidance relationship sign to future significant others.

Well thatís one way of looking at it but wouldnít you be curious as to why that person chose to get married to someone they didnít love in the first place? I mean if Dean really did love Teri can you really expect him to not forgive her for making a mistake? I know this isnít a small mistake but that would be Deanís decision to make, whether or not he could accept her. I personally think that Teriís mind was clouded by insecurities and judgment. On one hand she had stability and a man that was willing to marry her, so in that sense security. On the other hand, she had a man whom she truly loved but wasnít sure where or how that relationship would end up. Furthermore, she wasnít sure if she was good enough because it was a common fact that Dean Cain had a tremendous sex appeal, and I could easily see Teri fearing being dumped. There are so many articles where Teriís admitted that sheís really insecure and really conscious during L&Cís run and thatís partly why I believe she posted those recent Facebook pictures. I think part of it was to show women in the world that itís ok to be naturally beautiful, but the other part of it was just for herself; to kind of prove that sheís secure with the way she looks and kind of reassure her insecurity that no doubt is still in the back of her mind.

Top
#226582 - 08/25/10 04:52 PM Re: Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher Theory [Re: Bobert]
C&L Offline
Jimmy Olsen

Registered: 08/05/10
Posts: 16
Ok, till now I only read about Teri POV. And Dean POV, nothing? I know that is a hard work to keep a (gorgeous) man like Dean, but, if there's love, so... Teri's insecurance couldn't let her try to be in a relationship with him. Why now? What made her try now?

Opinions...

Top
#226586 - 08/25/10 09:25 PM Re: Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher Theory [Re: C&L]
widget Offline


Registered: 04/09/01
Posts: 6123
Loc: USA
It took me forever to find this old post because I was thinking it came out around the time Teri's book did, but in reality it was over a year beforehand. Here's the link:

http://www.zoomway.net/ubb/ultimatebb.php/ubb/get_topic/f/4/t/000577.html (scroll down to the 7th post in the thread)

and the relevant paragraphs:

Quote:
It was last year that Teriís marriage to actor Jon Tenney broke up. They met in 1992 and even on their first date both believed that they had found Ďthe oneí. They married two years later with Teri insisting that it was Ďso great to be going through life with a soul mateí. In 1997 their daughter Emerson was born (Teri started filming the James Bond film when she was pregnant) and, later, she remarked that she felt fortunate to be with Tenney because ĎI have so much admiration for women who tackle motherhood alone. I cannot imagine ití.

So for her marriage to end, says Teri, was devastating. ĎI still feel a lot of guilt about the fact that Emerson wonít have a mum and dad together in the house while sheís growing up,í says Teri, Ďand Iíll probably feel guilty about that for the rest of my life. I take our commitment to our child really seriously and splitting from Jon wasnít an easy thing to do. I was really unhappy for a long time and I tried very hard to make our marriage work. Iíll never reveal what went on in our relationship, but itís enough to say that it wasnít an easy time. Jonís a nice guy and it wasnít easy to separate, actually, but I think heís fixed some of the problems now. Sometimes it takes something radical like someone leaving you to make you want to straighten out your life and heís taken those steps. Heís not an alcoholic, but our situation now is similar to him having been an alcoholic and then joining AA to straighten himself out.í The marriage, says Teri, had been going wrong for a few years. ĎBecause heís a good guy, I didnít want to leave and I didnít want for Emerson to have to go through our divorce.

A lot of my friends told me I should get out of the marriage, saying that if I wasnít happy, then I couldnít be a good mum, but I didnít look at it like that. I felt, ďWell, who says that Iím the one who has to be happy? My daughter has to come first.Ē To me, my happiness was secondary to Emersonís. That went on for years until finally I had to do something about it. The burden of waking up and spending hours of every day trying to find somewhere to put the pain just got too much for me and I had to get out. The whole thing was completely my fault. Not a damn thing changed about Jon from the day I met him ó I just chose not to look at the red flags. ĎThat was another reason why it took me so long to get out. I felt guilty for Emersonís sake because I thought to myself, ďI picked him, so I should deal with it.Ē I realised nine years later that I couldnít. There were definitely things about Jon to love but,í she adds sadly, ĎI donít think I was ever in love with him. To be honest, I donít think Iíve ever been in love at all.í It is a sad admission given that Teri regularly used to top the lists of sexiest women on TV, but one that she insists is true. I donít trust people easily and I find it difficult to open up and, to be honest, love isnít on my list of priorities.

Iím single at the moment and Iím not looking for anyone. With the life I have. Iíve no idea where a man could fit in. Between my daughter, friends, my mother and work, thereís only about half an hour left in the day for anything else. And I donít miss having a partner, although Iím sure that some day it would he great to meet someone who was equally fulfilled to share some happy experiences with. I can remember being in my 20s and feeling really empty: just wanting a guy to fill something missing in me. I donít feel that any more. When people ask me about my love life, I have to laugh because I donít even have one.


It's a very long article, so more reading at the actual link.

I'm too tired to discuss tonight, but everyone else feel free to have at it wink

Top
#226587 - 08/25/10 10:12 PM Re: Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher Theory [Re: widget]
widget Offline


Registered: 04/09/01
Posts: 6123
Loc: USA
I do have one question, though. Wasn't the time Teri said she was crying on the kitchen floor right after she divorced Jon and he took half her money and she was afraid she was going to lose the house? Then she got Desperate Housewives and that solved any money problems.

Also, does anyone remember which audition she was called in for, but cancelled because she had been crying? Was that for DH?

Top
#226591 - 08/26/10 12:25 AM Re: Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher Theory [Re: widget]
Bobert Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 07/26/03
Posts: 71
Loc: New Jersey
Originally Posted By: widget
ĎThat was another reason why it took me so long to get out. I felt guilty for Emersonís sake because I thought to myself, ďI picked him, so I should deal with it.Ē I realised nine years later that I couldnít. There were definitely things about Jon to love but,í she adds sadly, ĎI donít think I was ever in love with him. To be honest, I donít think Iíve ever been in love at all.í


Guess that makes me wrong about Teri being in love with Dean...

Damn it Widget! wink

Top
#226592 - 08/26/10 12:29 AM Re: Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher Theory [Re: Bobert]
widget Offline


Registered: 04/09/01
Posts: 6123
Loc: USA
LOL. Sorry, Bobert smile

Top
#226594 - 08/26/10 07:28 AM Re: Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher Theory [Re: widget]
LCVixen Offline
Lane and Kent

Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 78
No, Bobert, I think Teri did love Dean. Could you have imagined Teri saying, "I didn't love Jon, but I sure was in love with Dean Cain." Yeah, right! Dean must have meant a lot to her and it has taken her all these years to realize what a big influence he was on her life and that she still cares about him. I bet you that Dean is Teri's biggest regret.

I agree with most of you that Teri saw Dean as unstable and to be fair, Dean hasn't really shown a ton of stability when it comes to his relationships with women. I'm not saying that Dean is a love-em and leave-em type, but he certainly doesn't have the best track record. I think Dean has some commitment issues and Teri has some self-esteem issues. Both of their problems keep them from having serious, loving, long lasting partnerships. They both seem to pick the wrong type of person to be in a relationship with. Maybe all arrows point back to each other. Perhaps the reason they have never found happiness with anyone else is because they are really meant to be together.

I'm going to back up a minute and rewind to 1993. I believe that Dean was exciting, good looking and fun to Teri. I think they had a short fling (sex included) but Teri (more than Dean) worried about how their personal relationship would affect their working relationship. Would it show onscreen? Well...IMHO it did, but I think Teri pushed for the "lets just be friends" thing. If it was just a fling, I couldn't see Dean being really hurt by it, they just got to know each other after all. I'm sure they were both still attracted to each other, but for the sake of the show, Teri had to find someone else. Enter: Jon Tenney. He was the perfect excuse why she couldn't be with Dean. Imgaine how hard it would be to have slept with your co-star and then have to work with them every day? She could easily put this out of her mind, if she had another guy to faun all over. In a way, she kind of used Jon; Not to say, he never used her - he spent their whole marriage doing that! Jon was cop-out, a ticket to security and a way to say, "Hey, I can't be in love with Dean because I have this other guy."

Some feelings just never seem to go away. When her marriage hit the rocks in 1995-96, who did she lean on - Dean. I could see how Dean would feel so betrayed. First Teri tells him they should only be friends back in 1993, she has another fling with him in 1995, but pulls the friend thing again, has a year long relationship with him (1996-1997) then leaves him for good. I totally understand why Dean would feel so hurt and utterly confused. Teri couldn't seem to make up her mind. I wonder if that's why Dean is a little more reserved when it comes to Teri.

I still think she's changed and that they could find happiness together if they forgive and let go of the past. Perhaps, I'm just an eternal optimist though!


Edited by LCVixen (08/26/10 07:30 AM)

Top
Page 7 of 8 < 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 >

Moderator:  ChrisP, Kismatt, widget, zoomway